Saturday, February 12, 2011

Officership is Sexy!

This photo along with accompanying text was featured in “The Pacific Northwest Inlander Magazine,” and titled, “The Inland Northwest’s Sexiest People.”

Capt. Kyle Smith

AGE: 44

OCCUPATION: Salvation Army officer, pastor, father of two children

RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Married, 15 years

Why he makes us hot: To help make up for a slump in donations during the holiday season, Kyle Smith rang a bell for the Salvation Army for 36 hours straight. That’s hardly the most extreme task he’s taken on: Smith also spent time in Rwanda providing relief after the Civil War there. He’s traveled the world. He loves his wife. We think his heart is hot. And the five o’clock shadow. Oh, and the blue eyes. Did we mention the New Zealand accent? Damn, Mrs. Smith: You’re one lucky lady.

Turn-ons? “My wife. There is no other answer.”

Turn-offs? Bad body odor. Bad breath. “The prettiest woman can become not-so-pretty if she stinks.”

So, why are you so sexy? “I’ll tell you what: location, location, location. If I was back home, no one would notice me. Oh — and the uniform.”

Here’s what I want to say about this “Sexiest People” list, with Kyle right at the very top. Slightly irreverent, perhaps, but great publicity for a 21st Century Salvation Army. If I were still Candidate’s Secretary, this photo would set the theme for a candidate recruitment campaign: “Officership Is Sexy!”

The “informal” definition of “sexy” is: “EXCITING; APPEALING!” And that’s exactly the image we want to portray, isn’t it? Commitment, dedication, giving, serving, sacrificing and saving: Exciting and appealing. “Oh — and the uniform.”

Reminds me of a controversial, risky campaign we launched back in the 1970’s, the School for Officer training filled to overflowing, mind you.

O.K. Candidate Secretary’s out there, I dare you!