Say What?

What? “We do not consider ourselves a Christian nation.” C’mon, the President didn’t really say that did he? If he did, who’s his speechwriter, Bill O’Reilly? Or maybe the right-wing media pounced upon one of Letterman’s Late Show, dumb, doctored videos, spinning it as the Gospel truth. Obama wouldn’t make such a stupid mistake; he’s a Harvard graduate for God’s sake! Whoops, slip of the pen there.

Anyone with an ounce of brains knows that we are a Christian nation. I mean, look around you.

“A man who rammed his SUV into the Planned Parenthood clinic in St. Paul on Thursday told police that Jesus told him to do it, the Star Tribune reports.”

Miss California, Carrie Prejean (Miss USA Competition): “We live in a land that you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage…(According to her Christian values) I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman.” Perez Hilton (Judge who asked question) responding on his Celebrity Gossip Blog: “You dumb b**ch,” going on to describe her as having “half a brain.”

The Jewish Americans, film series by David Grubin: “What does it mean to be Jewish in America today? As Letty Pogrebin says in the film, ‘it’s a matter of context.’ For many Jews issues of identity are not relevant to their everyday lives. However for some, balancing their Jewish American identity can be challenging. Are we American Jews, Americans without a hyphenated identity or simply Jewish?”

Feature Film: “Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter” – “An army of vampires have come into the town and are reeking havoc on those in the religious community. After one victim falls pray (How they spelled it – prey?) to the lesbian group of the vampire leader, Maxine, the church decides to call in Jesus Christ.”

“Expressions of Islam in America,” Gisele Web: “The 1990s may be the last decade in which Islam is viewed as a "non-mainstream" religious tradition in America. At its current rate of growth, by the year 2015 Islam will be the second largest religion in the United States, following Christianity.”

Website: “Welcome to the Jesus-made-me-do-it: The club that makes a complete mockery of Jesus/God/The Virgin Mary.” Wicked refuse?

A Fox News/Opinion Dynamics poll indicated the American people favor a proposal to build a 2,000-mile security fence (Mexican border) by a 51-to-37 percent margin.

Recent research by Mark A. Chaves, a sociologist at the University of Arizona, concluded that more than 90 percent of all congregations in the United States are at least 80 percent one race.

Ad infinitum.

Of course, we’re a Christian nation, ever obedient to Christ’s command, “Love one another as I have loved you.” It is this brand of compassionate inclusiveness that makes America great, her Statue of Liberty beckoning:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
 Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
 The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
 Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me.
 I lift my lamp beside the golden door."

Say what?

Intoxicating!

Leaving San Francisco, we made one more stop – one of our favorite spots – Ghiardelli Square, adjacent to Fisherman’s Wharf. This once world-renowned chocolate factory is now a trendy boutique-style shopping center and we are drawn to it because, in the sweet shops, chocolate samples are given freely and liberally. Thus all caution is thrown to the wind and we gorge ourselves freely and liberally, literally. And we’re not alone.

One would think that this doesn’t make good business sense, but its operators were not born yesterday; they know exactly what they’re doing. An orchestrated “temptation psychology” is employed here, big time. Chocolate is intoxicating and addictive, one bite leading to another and then another. The craving becomes so overwhelming that samplings no longer satisfy the palate. One enters empty handed, but alas, leaves heavy laden as the cash registers ring out with joy.

I noticed the obvious absence of mirrors, pretty smart, huh? If there were a suggestion box, my card would have read, “Place slimming mirrors everywhere and sales will increase dramatically.” One look in the mirror and double the purchase, weight and health be damned! The sweetest part is, that this wide-spread addiction has no ‘religious’ consequences.

Two thousand calories later, we squeezed into our chocolate laden Miata and put-putted across the Golden Gate Bridge, over the rolling hills and through the vineyards en route to our next destination, Lytton, a 500 acre ranch located eighty miles north of SF. This was once a Salvation Army Children’s Home, later converted into an Adult Rehabilitation Center. Doris’ parents were stationed here on two occasions, subsequently making this their retirement home. Obviously, the place is filled with lots of nostalgia and warm memories.

Irony of all ironies, this addictions treatment center is located in wine country, dead center. One of its adjacent neighbors is Simi Winery, beautifully landscaped with an enticing, tempting wine tasting room. At every turn there is another winery beckoning the happy wanderer in for a taste (68 of them in a 5 by 10 mile radius so says my trusty winery map guide). Throughout the Napa Valley, spirits are flowing freely and liberally.

As part of our “research tour,” we visited Simi Winery and, stepping into the tasting sanctuary, were immediately greeted by their version of “Door Sergeant” (Do we really still use that term?), a very gracious, affable and gregarious elderly lady. She immediately engaged us in conversation spewing compliments right and left, making us feel as if we were the most important people on this planet. And she didn’t even know we were Commissioners! (Her slurred speech did seem to indicate a few additional perks with the job). This was all wonderfully orchestrated, of course, and we were ushered up to the tasting altar eagerly anticipating the sacramental communion experience awaiting us.

The person on the other side of the tasting altar, seemingly bedecked in flowing robes (my mind was beginning to play tricks on me), began to quote chapter and verse, magnifying and glorifying the spirits laid out before us, “vintages eternally aged to perfection, velvety to the palate, guaranteed to revive the spirit.” The only thing missing was a rousing rendition of, “The Hallelujah Chorus,” which we were tempted to supply. Sanity prevailed, however, and we backed away, choosing to honor The Salvation Army’s denominational sacramental position (questionable and controversial though it be). And, of course, there were religious consequences to consider as well.

Unlike the chocolate samples, we resisted the winery temptation, but there were a host of other sacramentally inclined patrons, lining the tasting altar, who imbibed religiously. They were hooked. One taste leads to another and then another until samplings no longer satisfy the craving. One enters sober-minded and empty handed, but alas, leaves spirit-filled and heavy laden as the cash registers ring out with joy (an educated assumption, of course).

And so it was, with top down and music blaring, we soberly pointed our Miata Eastward toward the scenic Sierras. With consciences clear, Doris reached for a sumptuous box of chocolates, blessedly assured and confident that, with this addiction, there are no religious consequences… “Health and longevity be damned!”

‘Sir, which is the most important command in the laws of Moses?’ Jesus replied, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. The second most important is similar: 'Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself.' All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets stem from these two laws and are fulfilled if you obey them. Keep only these and you will find that you are obeying all the others.’ (Matt 22:36-40 TLB)

By the way, if I were the Corps Officer (Pastor) in Santa Rosa, I would hustle on up to the Simi Winery and vigorously attempt to recruit that elderly lady greeter as my Welcome Sergeant” (Church greeter), sans the perks, naturally. She certainly made me and Doris feel warm and valued. Perhaps the wine industry can teach us a thing or two about how to make our sanctuaries more tempting and enticing – with Love being the intoxicating temptress, of course.

Shall we drink to that?