Temptation

The internet has really complicated this pesky “temptation” thing, as if it wasn’t bad enough to begin with. I don’t know about you, but temptation’s lure entices me on a consistent basis, albeit taking different shapes and forms at my age. Some lures have lost their power, you get the drift, as does the tempter, believe me. A whole new arsenal is now at his disposal – the internet. It’s like “omnipresent temptation.”

For example, I ordered a text book through Amazon.com for a class I’m taking over the internet, as a prerequisite to becoming an online college instructor. The book was shipped two weeks in advance and, as of this writing (class starts today), no book. In anticipation, I sent an inquiry to the Amazon subcontractor and received a very terse response back, lecturing me on poor decision making when ordering items for shipment to Hawaii.

Hackles up! Snare set. Tempter pounces. I will spare you the details, except to say that Samuel Logan Brengle (Salvation Army Holiness Teacher) would have been disappointed with my Email response. It was brief; no swear words, but lacking in compassion. Guess what? Her return, return response was not only angry, but extremely threatening. Dear reader, this enraged soul accused me of calling her a moron, to which I plead, “Not Guilty!” As God is my witness! Unless, “…do business with a more reputable dealer,” can be construed the same.

Granted, my note wasn’t “sanctified,” in tone, but it was far from vitriolic. Instead of responding again, I swallowed hard and uttered a prayer of repentance, thereby resisting a powerful, compelling and less than sanctimonious urge to do otherwise. I must confess that the tempter is still messing with my thoughts, though. “Get thee behind me, Satan,” doesn’t work; it only increases the volume, like one of those “suped up,” “boom box” laden roadsters pulling up behind you on the highway.

Here’s what I have discovered. Even the most timid amongst us can become like roaring lions when communicating impersonally, like over the internet. In fact, the book I referred to earlier, The Online Teaching Guide: A Handbook of Attitudes, Strategies, and techniques for the Virtual Classroom (White & Weight), makes this very point. The word, coined by onliners, describing this phenomenon is, flaming. To put it in perspective, that heretofore mentioned book dealer was flaming. And I suspect speaking eyeball-to-eyeball with her would have produced dramatically different responses, on both our parts.

As a young officer (pastor), prehistorically (BI: “Before Internet”), I would periodically receive a haughty, dictatorial sounding missal through the mail from the “powers that be,” causing my blood pressure to sky-rocket. This set off an immediate, visceral response, resulting in a flaming chain reaction. What began explosively, ended up implosively. Guess at what end? Fellow travelers, I have self-destructed more times than I care to remember.

I learned early on how to count to ten before responding. Actually, it was to 86,400, figuratively (number of seconds in 24 hours). I would write the letter as prompted by the tempter (for cathartic purposes), then lay it aside for a cooling off period. That’s when the Sanctifier took over and continued His progressive work –In me, anyway.

But remember this-the wrong desires that come into your life aren't anything new and different. Many others have faced exactly the same problems before you. And no temptation is irresistible. You can trust God to keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it, for he has promised this and will do what he says. He will show you how to escape temptation's power so that you can bear up patiently against it (1 Corinthians 10:13 TLB).

“…bear up patiently” is the operative phrase in this Scripture for me. It’s been 48 hours since receiving that acerbic response from the book dealer and I still feel like punching her lights out, although I must say the feeling is fading. After all, admittedly, I’m not entirely guiltless in this process. Is there any such thing as being “less guilty?”

I still faintly hear the echo of the Boom Box behind me when thinking back to some of those “powers that be” letters received (20-40 years ago). Especially when something occurs to trigger those memories, as it does occasionally through an Email posting or, vicariously, through my kids involvement in ministry. I also keep a “temptation file” that is pulled out once-in-a-while to view copies of those once-upon-a-time trophies within it. I’m reminded how silly it all was… and is (some things never change).

The file is thick, but can you imagine its thickness had the internet been around? You ought to read some of the responses I get to this blog. By some counts, there are 200 million blogs in existence. Think about the amount of omnipresent flaming taking place at this very moment? Mind-boggling! But it’s not nearly as mind-boggling as the “delete (escape) key” promised in First Corinthians 10.

Whoops! Got to go now, more Emails coming in…

Delete… delete… delete!

Intoxicating!

Leaving San Francisco, we made one more stop – one of our favorite spots – Ghiardelli Square, adjacent to Fisherman’s Wharf. This once world-renowned chocolate factory is now a trendy boutique-style shopping center and we are drawn to it because, in the sweet shops, chocolate samples are given freely and liberally. Thus all caution is thrown to the wind and we gorge ourselves freely and liberally, literally. And we’re not alone.

One would think that this doesn’t make good business sense, but its operators were not born yesterday; they know exactly what they’re doing. An orchestrated “temptation psychology” is employed here, big time. Chocolate is intoxicating and addictive, one bite leading to another and then another. The craving becomes so overwhelming that samplings no longer satisfy the palate. One enters empty handed, but alas, leaves heavy laden as the cash registers ring out with joy.

I noticed the obvious absence of mirrors, pretty smart, huh? If there were a suggestion box, my card would have read, “Place slimming mirrors everywhere and sales will increase dramatically.” One look in the mirror and double the purchase, weight and health be damned! The sweetest part is, that this wide-spread addiction has no ‘religious’ consequences.

Two thousand calories later, we squeezed into our chocolate laden Miata and put-putted across the Golden Gate Bridge, over the rolling hills and through the vineyards en route to our next destination, Lytton, a 500 acre ranch located eighty miles north of SF. This was once a Salvation Army Children’s Home, later converted into an Adult Rehabilitation Center. Doris’ parents were stationed here on two occasions, subsequently making this their retirement home. Obviously, the place is filled with lots of nostalgia and warm memories.

Irony of all ironies, this addictions treatment center is located in wine country, dead center. One of its adjacent neighbors is Simi Winery, beautifully landscaped with an enticing, tempting wine tasting room. At every turn there is another winery beckoning the happy wanderer in for a taste (68 of them in a 5 by 10 mile radius so says my trusty winery map guide). Throughout the Napa Valley, spirits are flowing freely and liberally.

As part of our “research tour,” we visited Simi Winery and, stepping into the tasting sanctuary, were immediately greeted by their version of “Door Sergeant” (Do we really still use that term?), a very gracious, affable and gregarious elderly lady. She immediately engaged us in conversation spewing compliments right and left, making us feel as if we were the most important people on this planet. And she didn’t even know we were Commissioners! (Her slurred speech did seem to indicate a few additional perks with the job). This was all wonderfully orchestrated, of course, and we were ushered up to the tasting altar eagerly anticipating the sacramental communion experience awaiting us.

The person on the other side of the tasting altar, seemingly bedecked in flowing robes (my mind was beginning to play tricks on me), began to quote chapter and verse, magnifying and glorifying the spirits laid out before us, “vintages eternally aged to perfection, velvety to the palate, guaranteed to revive the spirit.” The only thing missing was a rousing rendition of, “The Hallelujah Chorus,” which we were tempted to supply. Sanity prevailed, however, and we backed away, choosing to honor The Salvation Army’s denominational sacramental position (questionable and controversial though it be). And, of course, there were religious consequences to consider as well.

Unlike the chocolate samples, we resisted the winery temptation, but there were a host of other sacramentally inclined patrons, lining the tasting altar, who imbibed religiously. They were hooked. One taste leads to another and then another until samplings no longer satisfy the craving. One enters sober-minded and empty handed, but alas, leaves spirit-filled and heavy laden as the cash registers ring out with joy (an educated assumption, of course).

And so it was, with top down and music blaring, we soberly pointed our Miata Eastward toward the scenic Sierras. With consciences clear, Doris reached for a sumptuous box of chocolates, blessedly assured and confident that, with this addiction, there are no religious consequences… “Health and longevity be damned!”

‘Sir, which is the most important command in the laws of Moses?’ Jesus replied, ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. The second most important is similar: 'Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself.' All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets stem from these two laws and are fulfilled if you obey them. Keep only these and you will find that you are obeying all the others.’ (Matt 22:36-40 TLB)

By the way, if I were the Corps Officer (Pastor) in Santa Rosa, I would hustle on up to the Simi Winery and vigorously attempt to recruit that elderly lady greeter as my Welcome Sergeant” (Church greeter), sans the perks, naturally. She certainly made me and Doris feel warm and valued. Perhaps the wine industry can teach us a thing or two about how to make our sanctuaries more tempting and enticing – with Love being the intoxicating temptress, of course.

Shall we drink to that?